The Blog of Jake Kelfer
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It has come to my attention that people, yes all people, want to be loved, have a sense of belonging, and feel that they matter. Crazy, right?
It has also come to my attention that we are so focused on ourselves, how many likes we get, followers we have, things to do, etc., that we lose sight on giving people what we know they want.
If we know that people want to feel loved, like when they are complimented, or even feel great when you remember something about them, then why don’t we attempt to do this more often. Why don’t we attempt to give people these feelings more?
My guess… WE DON’T CARE ENOUGH.
Unfortunately, this is the truth. We don’t care enough about others to give them these positive feelings. If there isn’t something pushing us in that direction that makes it more of a priority than everything else we have in our lives, then we won’t change.
I know we are busy. I know we have a lot to do. I know we are just trying to make it through each day.
BUT, wouldn’t it better to go through each day receiving a compliment, being told you matter, or someone remembering something about you a few weeks after you first told them about it?
So with all of that said, here’s one trick you can incorporate into your busy life to create a memorable experience for someone else.
Whenever you talk with someone and they mention something with a timeline or something that is happening in their life, take notes and set a reminder to text/email/call at a later date.
Not only will this show someone you care about them, but it will also give you a positive feeling after you do it, a sense of accomplishment. You’re helping others help yourself through a continuous process of connection, empathy, growth, and kindness.
Last summer, I was hanging out with a new friend in Las Vegas and her birthday was in April. I told her that I wasn’t going to forget it and at the time, I’m sure she thought I would. I mean 9 months to remember someone’s birthday is a long time. That night when I got home, I immediately wrote in my phone reminders to give her a call on her birthday 9 months later. Just recently it was her birthday and I gave her a call. Much to my surprise, not only was she incredibly amazed that I remembered but she remembered too and said that it really made her feel special.
About a month ago, I spoke with an old friend and she told me she had a test coming up. I asked for the date and as soon as we finished our call, I wrote that date in my phone and set a reminder to wish her good luck the day before. When I finally texted her, she responded with so much gratitude and appreciation that I remembered.
You don’t do these things for selfish reasons. You do these things because that’s what connection is about. It’s about going out of your way for others.
As much as I try to always be the one messaging others, I’ve been on the receiving side of this as well. I’ve had friends text me before a big speech and tell me good luck before the PBC. It always makes me feel valued and appreciated!
What I’ve realized is that whether you’re on either side, every shared experience is special. If you’re giving someone the love or receiving the love, it is incredibly powerful and can make all the difference.
I am on a mission to inspire people to achieve their own definition of success and reach the highest level of personal happiness.